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Explain the change beforehand
Describe who will be present, where and what that person will do. If preparation is possible, avoid introducing a new caregiver as a surprise at the doorway. Share what is actually known and explain separately when your child will see the familiar adult again.
For example, with the new person’s permission, show a photograph and describe a simple sequence: a snack, a book and your return. Avoid promises of instant affection or a cheerful day without tears. Familiarity can develop gradually, and your child’s feelings need not match the family’s hopes on demand.
Meet together when possible
UNICEF suggests introducing a new caregiver gradually. A familiar adult can stay while the new person joins an ordinary activity. Do not require immediate cuddles, time alone or a display of friendliness merely to protect the newcomer’s feelings. Watching quietly can be part of getting acquainted.
Offer a simple shared game that the child may join when ready. The caregiver also learns about pace and communication. If a joint meeting is impossible, discuss a shorter beginning and a clear contact arrangement. Treat these as options for your circumstances, rather than a universal recipe.
Pass information between adults
Prepare essential information: contacts, the usual day, food requirements and agreed safety rules. Medical instructions should come from actual professional advice, with uncertainties checked by the relevant clinician. Your child should not be responsible for remembering and explaining the organisation of their own care.
Clarify who may collect your child and what happens if someone is delayed. Avoid unnecessary private stories or labels such as difficult. Describe an observable situation and support that already works instead, such as calmly warning that an activity is approaching its end.
Make goodbye understandable
Say that you are leaving and identify the person staying. Disappearing secretly can make the next transition harder to understand. Choose a short, manageable goodbye that suits your family. A parent’s return should not be presented as something conditional on the child stopping their tears first.
If your child is upset, the new caregiver offers support rather than threats. A comfort object is appropriate only when safe for the child’s age and care setting. Toys do not belong in an infant’s sleep space. Every ritual must fit safety, rather than override it.
Check the quality of care
Afterwards, ask about concrete experiences: what they did, where they felt comfortable and when help was needed. Avoid leading questions or pressure to protect the new adult’s feelings. Discuss observations with the caregiver separately and consider them alongside your child’s actual condition and account.
Do not dismiss every sign of difficulty as normal adjustment. Reports of rough treatment or fear call for an attentive adult response and safety. A friend’s recommendation does not remove the need to check real conditions and respect for the child’s boundaries. Keep room for what your child tells you.
Adjust the transition together
If things remain difficult, review the length of care, activity, time of day and available support. Everything need not change at once. Clearer information or fewer simultaneous new demands may help. Adults make and organise the decision rather than asking a child to carry responsibility for selecting a caregiver.
Continuing severe distress or difficulties that substantially disrupt ordinary life warrant discussion with a qualified professional. This article does not assess a particular worker’s trustworthiness. It offers a handover plan in which adults remain responsible for care and the child has a voice in what is happening.